Proving limits to his philanthropy, Zuckerberg will keep flying unicorn

In a single announcement, Mark Zuckerberg secured his spot near the top of the most generous philanthropists of all time. Despite giving away 99% of his Facebook stock (worth about $45 billion at the time of the announcement) there are limits to his generosity. In a recent statement Zuckerberg announced he simply could not part with his flying unicorn named “Sparkle.”

“Sparkle and I have a unique relationship,” Zuckerberg said at a news conference from the Menlo Park headquarters of Facebook. “We met not long after the Facebook IPO and Sparkle has been a source of inspiration ever since. On our commutes in the morning, we often talk about the challenges facing Facebook and work through some of the biggest product innovations together.”

Indeed it appears Zuckerberg an Sparkle share quite a relationship. A San Francisco neighbor of Zuckerberg’s who spoke to us anonymously added this: “On a number of occasions I’ve woken up in the middle of the night and have witnessed Mark combing the unicorn’s main. He does it so methodically; as if he was in a trance. It’s just kinda eerie.”

Zuckerberg has hinted at future announcements and additional guidance on how he will disperse his enormous wealth. But, for now, it appears the one thing he wont part with is his morning commute on the back of a white-haired flying unicorn named Sparkle.