News broke today that the child in the hugely successful YouTube video “Charlie bit my finger” is likely walking among us as a flesh eating cannibal.
As recently as last week, there were reports that Charlie was roaming the streets in downtown San Francisco. Apparently he had blood dripping from his mouth after taking his fill on a recently transplanted tech hipster named “Sal.” The report has yet to be confirmed but, if proven true, there is one empty stool where Sal would normally take root this morning at the local Blue Bottle Coffee Shop. We spill our coffee in remembrance.
Charlie displayed all the early signs of a blood thirst. Nearly a billion of us watched in ignorant delight as he gently gnawed on his brother’s finger in that famous video. Who would have know that we were inadvertently turning a blind eye to what would become an insatiable blood lust.
For its part, YouTube is reportedly adding a “Future Hazard” button to all video posts that will allow users to flag individuals displaying potential dangers. It comes a bit too late for Charlie but there is hope for the next wave of YouTube stars. If only one kid is saved from cannibalism, then progress has been made.