“Fear” once again tops list of things American’s fear most

BOULDER, CO- For more than 80 years, American’s have misconstrued Franklin D. Roosevelt’s famous “we have nothing to fear but fear itself” as a literal recommendation.  “Fear” once again topped this year’s list of things that American’s fear most.

“Clowns suck and so does ISIS. But I agree that fear is the only thing we should really fear.”
“Fear is pretty damn scary,” said Howard McCovy, an anxious dental assistance from Missouri. “I mean, sure, clowns suck and so does ISIS. But I agree with FDR, fear is the only thing we should really fear.”

The list includes several previous top contenders: mayonnaise, global warming and sharks. However, there were a few notable newcomers: asteroids, immigrants, and Chipotle to name a few.

It will be another year before we can see 2016’s list, but one can only suspect that the champion will reign king for yet another year. It seems fear is pretty damn scary.