Expert: When your dog starts talking, it’s probably time to drink less

GARLAND, TX- A new report from the Center of Canine Studies reconfirmed the long-held belief that dogs cannot talk. This is contrary to many accounts of pet owners. These owners report conversations – typically late night – with their pets on a range of topics. Authors of the study suggest that these false claims might be attributable to alcohol, which was reported in every single case. Although highly correlated, the study stops short of drawing a conclusion in causality. As one expert involved in the case reports, “although alcohol was a common thread across all participants, we cannot rule out the impact of the myriad of other drugs also found in the study subjects blood streams.”