Common public speaking technique increases sexual deviance

For many people, public speaking is at the top of their most feared activities. To address these fears, it has long been recommended that the speaker imagine the audience naked. However, new evidence suggests this technique is leading to longer-term sexual dysfunction among young men.

A cohort of 42 men were studies for 20 years and asked to provide monthly self-evaluations across a number of different aspects of their lives. Researches were surprised to see an 87% correlation between those with significantly higher occurrences of public speaking and those reporting above normal sexual dysfunction. “While we were initially shocked by the results,” says one of the lead researchers, “we quickly began to see a clear line between the two variables. It appears that the more these men thought about large groups of naked people the more they needed that same stimuli to achieve arousal.”

One participant of the study who agreed to speak with us anonymously had this to say: “It’s wrecked most of my relationships. When I get to an intimate moment with my partner I can’t perform. Seeing one person naked does nothing after all those times I’ve imagined rooms of naked people.”

Another, larger study is about to get underway to further test these results and provide a more robust set of recommendations. But for now, one researcher had this piece of advice for anyone with a public speaking obligation: “Just imagine everyone fully clothed, with long beards, pink sunglasses, and an ugly Christmas sweater.”